There’s a time and place for everything… Including phone sex. You aren’t going to want to have it while you are attending your brother’s wedding or working out, right? Or are you? Depends on how kinky you want to get! As a phone sex queen, I have pretty much mastered the art of finding the perfect moment when I am having phone sex with someone I am in a relationship with. Sometimes catching your lover off-guard is appropriate, but not all of the time. So if you are curious about when you should make that phone call… I am here to tell you from my own experiences when it’ll work in your favor!
When to have phone sex:
On the way home from work
I have said this before but you don’t have to be in an LDR to use phone sex for some fun. You can use it as a pregame for the real act by starting on the way home from work (or wherever). Start building the sexual tension by calling each other and talking dirty when you are apart but about to be home together. It is a fantastic foreplay and will make send your sex drive into high gear knowing that soon enough you will physically be touching.
When the sex is becoming boring
Phone sex will help you add a new dimension to your sex life. It helps to keep things interesting and deters monotony when it is starting to set in. Use phone sex as an approach to mend your sex life with your partner and add a new dynamic to the bedroom! If living together you can try getting a hotel room for the night, using it while you are out of town, or even trying it in separate rooms of the house. Try adding toys to your phone sex and describing the way you masturbate to your partner.
A planned night if you’re in an LDR
I suggest to people in long-distance relationships to plan out when they are going to have phone sex. Keeping it on the schedule will make sure that you are both prepared and ready to give each other your undivided attention. Intimacy in an LDR needs to take priority which is why it should be in the calendar and happen when you are both comfortable and ready.
Surprise them with a message mid-day
You can send each other sexy messages mid-day to inspire an evening of phone sex (if you are in an LDR) or real sex (if you live together). This message can come in the form of a voice note or voicemail. It’s like serving an appetizer for what is to come. You can also send a hot photo of yourself to surprise them or turn them on!
When you need to revamp up your relationship
Phone sex helps couples learn to communicate better. If you are having problems (sexual or not sexual), trying phone sex is a great idea. It increases your ability to communicate with each other which is why it’s a helpful tool for problems that aren’t happening between the sheets.
A planned night while you are on vacation
Couples who are spending a few days apart either for a business trip or vacation love to have phone sex. Like I tell couples who are in LDRs, planning it out is important. When someone is on a trip, they often have things planned out or are staying around/with other people. To make sure that your partner isn’t busy when you are ready to go, set a time to make it happen!
When not to have phone sex:
If you know your partner is going through something emotional
Trying to force the intimacy of phone sex when your lover is going through something painful isn’t ever a good idea. This is the time when you need to be there for your partner in a way that isn’t sexual, because sex is probably the last thing on their mind.
When you’ve got other plans
Phone sex isn’t something to be squeezed in. It’s not really a quickie type of thing. It needs proper attention so that both partners can get each other off. Rushing it kind of kills the experience. So if you know that you have something else going on or don’t have the time to devote to giving the phone sex your all, don’t waste your time trying. It usually ends up feeling like a failed experiment when you do it this way.
During an important family or business meeting
If you know that your lover has something important to do, it can seem silly or fun to try to turn them on with a sexy message or suggest the idea of phone sex. Depending on what kind of person your lover is, it might be a turn on. For the most part though, people like to separate their work/family life from their sex lives. Respect that by avoiding suggesting phone sex while your lover is in the middle of something important.
If your partner isn’t into it
Phone sex isn’t for everyone. If it isn’t something your partner loves to do and they have told you that they aren’t the type for phone sex, don’t force it! Phone sex needs to be consensual between partners at all times.