Before I became a phone sex operator, I was actually like… really shy. I was the type of girl in grade school who sometimes sat alone at lunch. You know how in the movies, there’s always that one character who eats lunch in the bathroom? Yeah, I have been that girl a few times in my life. My interpersonal skills grew as I got older and… thankfully, I became way more confident over time. What always had been stopping me from making friends at school was my fear of communication. I was really bad at just talking! I would sit in fear constantly that I’d say the wrong thing.
To make the choice to become a phone sex operator, you have to be at least a little confident. I made that life choice in my uber-late teens (18-19) to do phone sex work. I was a more well-rounded person then and was able to make friends much more easily than I had been able to in the past. Though I was more outgoing, I still had my issues when it came to communication. But phone sex changed my life.
Phone sex operators have to master many things if they want to be really successful. As with most new things in my life, I strived to become the very best at being a phone sex queen. In unexpected ways, it helped me grow exponentially as a person. I am still learning about myself and others to this day! Each new phone call is a crash course in the social sciences. I couldn’t ask for a better job. The biggest component to being a fantastic phone sex operator is communication. This job has taught me so much about what it means to be a great communicator, how to relate to people, and how to manage the human condition. Are you scratching your head wondering how in the world a little dirty talk can make you a better conversationalist, talker, and person in general?
Don’t worry my love, I am here to tell you another reason why falling in love with phone sex can make your life better and more exciting than it already is! Read the rest of the article to find out how phone sex is like a crash course in communication.
Listening
Something that’s really surprising about people who know how to communicate well is that they also know how to listen. It’s a mistake to think that communication is 100% about talking. It’s actually way more about listening to the other person and absorbing the things they are telling you. As a phone sex operator, it’s my job to listen and understand. Getting a grasp on my clients’ fantasies is how I make a living, so I have to be a great listener.
The Pace Of Dirty Talk
Dirty talk is not a slow game. It’s not a speedy one either though. The pace of dirty talk is different depending on which client I am talking to. The only thing that’s constant about it is that it always changes. For me to keep the phone sex running smoothly at a great pace, I have to listen to the gods of phone sex. What are they telling me? If I want to be a good host, I need to mold the way I speak to the life of the chat and maintain a natural but sexy pace.
(Related: 5 Phone Sex Tips From An Operator)
Thinking On Your Feet
The worst thing that can happen during an erotic chat is awkwardness. Nobody feels hot when they feel awkward. Well, I’ve been in the business long enough to know that I should never say nobody. There are all sorts of strange lovely fetishes… who is to say that awkwardness isn’t one of them! Anyway… Thinking on your feet is a major part of brushing by all awkward moments.
Being Accepting Of Others
It’s a phone sex operator’s job to make sure their clients feel comfortable to express themselves. Putting someone on the spot is never my goal. I also want to create an environment of openness during my calls with clients. Phone sex is only hot when you feel like you can really tell the operator or your boyfriend/girlfriend your true sexual desires. That won’t happen if you don’t feel accepted!
Clearly Describe Imagined Scenarios
Bringing a fantasy to life by turning the imagined into the realm of reality is what separates the amateur phone sex queens from the pros. This can help in real life communication too. Communicating a memory, feeling, fantasy, or desire is how we move from point A to point B in any conversation!
Yes, And
Where are my improv fans? Yes, and is a philosophy in improvisation which states that you always accept the scenario and build off of it. You never want to shut someone down. The same applies to phone sex! When I am on a call with a client, I sometimes feel like I am on in improv stage!
Push The Envelope
I always have to know my client’s limits and boundaries when they call because I never want to make anyone feel comfortable. But, part of good phone sex practice is to introduce elements of the unexpected. Phone sex is a dance between the client’s request and my intuition as to how far I can push the envelope. Do this in regular conversation and you’ll always be the most interesting person in the room!
Say How You Feel
In phone sex, it’s 90% about the needs of the client and 10% about my own needs. Almost every person I speak with wants me to be enjoying my time on the call with them, even though they are the ones paying for it. People tend to get off on the satisfaction of others at times. I have had to learn to tell clients what I wanted, what I fantasized about, and how I liked to have phone sex!
It’s pretty wild how something like phone sex can trickle into your everyday life! For me, it happens all the time and I always pick up on it. Now, you might pick up on it too. If you want to be a better communicator in your life, maybe it’s time to perfect the art of erotic conversation.