Everyone wants to be a sweet and smooth phone sex talker, but not everyone was born with those dirty-worded gifts. As a dirty bird myself, I am privy to perverted talk and how to get it absolutely stimulatingly hot. Phone sex is an art, and your vocabulary is your paintbrush. Each phone sex conversation is like its own masterpiece. Sometimes you want something a little explosive, like a Pollack. Sometimes you want sexual and abstract, like a Picasso. Phone sex is about what you are into, your fantasies, and the fantasies of your partner. As a phone sex operator, I am always catering to someone else’s palette. But I know that I ultimately use some of my own pleasures in my dialogue with people. Many customers love to know that I am getting off as well. As this is my field of work, my pride and joy, and my expertise, I have decided to impart some wisdom to people who might not be as phone-sex-savvy as I am.
1: Pick a fantasy and go with it
There are no rules with phone sex. Nobody is looking over your shoulder and telling you what to do or if you’ve done something wrong. It’s liberating but makes the process harder. It’s difficult to sit with the proverbial ball in your court while your own balls are also in your hands. That’s a lot to juggle. Giving yourself a fantasy, roleplaying a character, or setting the scene is going to act as training wheels as you ride into the phone sex sunset. Having a storyline to guide you will help you know which direction to take things and it’ll also help you visualize and articulate your fantasy better.
2: Commit to the role
Phone sex requires a touch of acting before it feels really natural. Have you ever witnessed a bad actor at work? 99% of the time, their biggest problem is their inability to commit. They don’t provide a believable performance because they break the fourth wall and take you out of the movie. All you can think about is how crappy the performance was. Commitment is key with phone sex as well. Breaking character or only giving 50% of yourself is going to lead to some awkwardness on the line, which is the biggest boner-killer. Good phone sex exists with a cadence or a rhythm. You get into a groove with your partner. Breaking that due to fear of commitment is going to tarnish and otherwise wonderful experience.
3: Pretend you’re in a naughty English class
English teachers were always the best, weren’t they? Personally, English was my favorite subject because it allowed me to be creative. Wordplay, adverbs, adjectives, verbs, galore! English is fun as hell when you really get into it. Something I remember from my English classes that has helped me as a phone sex operator was the skill to accurately describe something in detail. Phone sex thrives on description and attention to detail. “Suck my d***,” is hot in theory – but it doesn’t get me wet or excited. Taking things slowly, describing a silky kiss against my smooth skin, sucking and licking as you get harder and harder is would make me go wild. My point is that details and adjectives are hot, hot, hot. Think of me as your naughty professor and trust me when I tell you that the more detailed you are about the tiny moments (like foreplay, kissing, and touching), the better you’ll be at phone sex!
4. Let your moans out
Authenticity is really sexy. Think about when you watch porn. It’s way less of a turn on if you know the person in the video is faking it or trying too hard. Masturbation is a big part of phone sex, so first you’ve got to really know how to pleasure yourself so that you can make some genuine noises. Those noises are going to turn your partner on more, which will turn you on more, and so on. It’s a hot moaning sexy cycle of screams! If you aren’t great at solo touch, use some toys to help you get there. Vibrators are amazing for women and fleshlight work wonders for men. Whatever toy makes you moan, twist, and have fantastic orgasms is the one you are going to go with. Then, don’t hold back! Your phone sex partner doesn’t have visuals so they are relying on the words you say and the sounds you make.
5: Treat it like an improv exercise
If you are familiar with improv, then you know the ‘yes and’ practice. If you don’t know anything about ‘yes and,’ then let me give you a mini-lesson. In the school of improvisational theater, the primary rule that you always want to follow is the ‘yes and’ rule. What that means is that whatever curveball your fellow actor throws your way during a performance, you go with. You say yes and you add to it. With phone sex, try to take a similar approach. You can’t plan out the conversation, so you just have to trust the process and go where it takes you. If your partner brings up something creative or even twisted, if you’re comfortable with it embrace it! Don’t shut your partner up or put them down for their sexual suggestion. If it makes you uncomfortable, let them know. But, if it’s something you can handle then keep the fantasy alive and go with it!
(Related: How To Be A Phone Sex Queen)