Phone sex is like jazz. It’s always unique with off-beat intervals and rhythms that you don’t really expect. That’s what makes it so fun! It’s a sweet ride when phone sex is going smoothly. All the words are hitting and you feel like you’re jamming in sync with your partner. We love to see it. But phone sex can be… er, bumpy at times. Awkward phone sex happens, especially if the two people involved aren’t pros or you aren’t calling a phone sex line. Usually they are in a long-distance relationship. You don’t have to be an operator like myself to be a phone sex queen or king. The secret to great phone sex? To keep your mind open and go where the music takes you. But there’s one more secret that you should know about too…
Sometimes you just aren’t feeling the beat. Whether the direction you’ve chosen is totally off base or your phone sex partner isn’t hitting the mark, sometimes we need to hit pause. An awkward moment doesn’t need to kill phone sex. You just need to know how to save the vibes when they get weird. Not sure what to say when phone sex gets strange? Allow me to dish all my phone sex saving tips so that you can mull through those awkward phone sex moments without crushing your partner’s ego or making it even more cringe.
Remember when you said (blank)? That made me so horny.
Go back to a better time in the phone sex conversation, one that was working for both of you. By redirecting you can set the phone sex on a better road that makes you feel more comfortable.
Why it works: By phrasing the redirect as a compliment you are not killing your phone sex partner’s ego by shifting the gears. You are simply saying that you liked something that they said before more than you like what’s going on right now. It will immediately bring the phone sex back to that happy and horny place where you were both feeling each other’s sexual energy.
Let’s talk about that fun night we had last week.
Addressing a memory you had with your partner, an orgasmic time when you were both having real-life sex, is a good way to inspire images in your partner’s mind. Reminiscing is a tool in phone sex that can be used to tantalize the imagination. Memories are also extremely powerful. Imagine for a moment biting into a piece of orgasmic cheesecake. You can practically taste it… right? That sensation that came out of practically nowhere proves the power in bringing up memories.
Why it works: Reminiscing about old times allows you and your partner to jump onto the common sexual ground. Past intimate experiences that you shared also help to tighten your bond. Relishing in that throwback goodness is a positive way to move your phone sex into a place that feels stable, right, and saucy.
What’s a sexual fantasy of yours?
Phone sex is about fantasy. You are playing pretend while masturbating. Bringing fantasies into the mix can help you get imaginative and creative with the types of language you use and inspire totally new unexplored realms of phone sex.
Why it works: You come across as generous and caring when you ask your partner questions during phone sex. Asking them about their fantasies suggests that you are willing to play along in their sexual world of pretend.
Let’s talk about (blank)!
When the phone sex gets cringy you might need to take control. Jump onto the phone sex horse and ride that thing by telling your partner exactly what you want to be talking about.
Why it works: Taking control is sexy. It doesn’t even feel like a full pivot from what you were talking about because it feels like a power move instead. Don’t fumble over your ability to totally dominate the phone sex. You got this!
Want to roleplay?
Roleplaying is fun and people love to incorporate it into sex. Why? Characters make being in sexual situations easier. Using roleplaying as a tool for good phone sex is a smart move because it leads the mind into all sorts of different worlds and sexual scenarios. That’s good phone sex material.
Why it works: Roleplaying deflects the attention from the awkwardness into a new sexy task. Stop focusing on what isn’t working and try something completely new.
Let me get my vibrator…
Not reaching an orgasm? Grab a vibrator, anal beads, lube, or a dildo! Use what you’ve got to keep the momentum of the phone sex up. There’s no shame in reaching for those sexy toys as you attempt to redirect the phone sex into new pleasurable territory.
Why it works: Toys are fun and they give you all sorts of things to talk about. It’s awesome phone sex material because you can talk about what the toy is doing to you. Are you pretending the toy is your partner? Is it vibrating in a certain way, is the lube dripping onto your skin? Try to be very detailed as you explain exactly how that toy is getting you off.
I’m not feeling this.
Hey… maybe it’s just not working. Phone sex needs to feel fun and consensual. If it’s getting too weird to the point where you just want to be off the phone, go ahead and hang up. That’s well within your rights no matter how abrupt it might feel to you in the moment! End it if it’s not serving you, period.