How can phone sex be had without consent?
We think it’s obvious, right? Consent matters in all sexual situations. But time and time again we hear of stories or experience traumas ourselves where consent isn’t taken into account. Aside from the obvious physical sexual act and how it requires consent, people tend to get a little confused over digital consent or consent as it applies to phone sex.
Scenario 1:
You might even be wondering how it’s possible to have phone sex without consent in the first place. The situation that happens frequently is that someone will either be drunk or not in the mood to have phone sex, and their partner will convince them that it’s going to be fun and it’s the right thing to do. They might even persuade their partner to send them photos when their partner doesn’t really want to. This would be an example of phone sex without consent.
Scenario 2:
Another way phone sex can be had without consent is if a nude photo is sent to a recipient without them asking for it, knowing it’s coming, or explicitly telling the sender that they are ok with surprise nude photos.
Scenario 3:
There are tons of different ways to have phone sex, right? You can roleplay, explore unique fantasies, and let your imagination run wild. But if you are in the midst of a phone sex session and your partner begins using language that makes you feel uncomfortable, you ask them to stop, and they don’t – that is a form of phone sex without consent.
Scenario 4:
And finally, if any nudes or recordings of the phone sex were made and distributed without both phone sex partners’ consent, that would go against the rules of phone sex.
Any of these situations would make someone uncomfortable and might turn them off to phone sex for good. But phone sex should feel safe, fun, and comfortable for everyone. There will always be nerves involved with phone sex – especially for those who aren’t used to having it – but it shouldn’t feel so uncomfortable that you aren’t enjoying yourself at all. That’s when it’s time to hang up the phone and move on!
How to get consent before having phone sex:
It’s important that you get consent before you have phone sex. It won’t ruin the mood, spoil the evening, or make the phone sex awkward. In fact – it will do the opposite! Hear me out: When you and your partner are both enthusiastic and comfortable about what’s about to go down on the phone, you will both have a better chance of having an orgasm. And who doesn’t want an orgasm?!
Step 1:
The first step in getting consent for phone sex is simply asking your partner if they want to have phone sex. If that feels too blunt, you can start by asking, “Have you ever had phone sex before?” And follow up with, “Would you like to try it sometime?” You can ask this question in the form of a text, call, or in-person. But once you get the green light, you know that it’s on!
Step 2:
The next thing you’ll want to do is establish some ground rules. Figure out what your partner is comfortable with and what turns them on. They might have fantasies about threesomes, exhibitionism, or BDSM. Evaluate what gets them horny and figure out if you’re down to engage in those fantasies. Express what you are into to your partner and see what they say. BDSM is one of those things where ground rules must always be established before participation. What is ok to say? What isn’t? This conversation will not only ensure that you have full consent to move forward, but it will also break the ice and give you and your phone sex partner a road map to work with.
Step 3:
Discuss whether or not visuals, nudes, videos, or pictures are going to be cool to explore during phone sex. Never send anything without asking this question. And never, ever share any photos or videos you receive with anyone without the consent of the sender. That is the lamest, least cool thing you can do to someone and it negates consent completely. Plus, you can pretty much guarantee that your phone sex partner won’t have phone sex with you again and may never want to speak to you again!
I don’t want to go through all of this, I want phone sex now:
You’re going to be surprised at my answer to this one! This is fine because… there are free phone sex numbers that you can try where you don’t have to ask if your partner is cool with phone sex. Being that it’s a phone sex number, the consent is already implied. Whether it’s a classic line or an erotic chat line, you can find someone to have phone sex with right now if you want to by dialing one of these numbers.