Phone sex can be a crucial part of intimacy for people in long-distance relationships. And it works for some people really well! The physical distance between the two of you becomes smaller when you are sharing intimate details with each other over the phone. It’s new-age intimacy, and you make it work for you when you have to. But nothing is worse for a long-distance relationship than if the phone sex is blah. Or even worse, if the phone sex turns into an argument. It has the power and potential to ruin the relationship as a whole. By keeping phone sex spicy, you can avoid this and build your relationship rather than tear it down. Here are my best tips for phone sex in a long-distance relationship:
Schedule it with your partner
Long-distance relationships thrive on a schedule. When are they free to talk and catch up? You never want to spring phone sex on your partner. Bring up phone sex calmly. Discuss it beforehand and make sure your partner is comfortable and on board. Then, pick a time when you both are free and know you’ll be in a good mood. This sets you up for success. Otherwise, you are starting a vulnerable conversation off on the wrong foot. This can be damaging for couples who already feel like there is something missing from the relationship because it will validate the feeling that something isn’t working.
Be patient with yourself
Instead of jumping to the conclusion that phone sex isn’t for you and your partner, or that the sex has died in the relationship, exercise patience with yourself and your partner. Like anything else, good phone sex comes with practice and the freedom to fail. When you alleviate that pressure of it needing to be perfect, you are giving yourself a better shot at it working out extremely well!
Laugh through the awkwardness
Nobody expects you to be a phone sex expert, just like nobody expects you to be a pornstar in the bedroom. Phone sex can be awkward and you have to use the awkwardness to your advantage when it comes up. What do I mean by that? Instead of turning crimson and getting mega-embarrassed, laugh with your partner about how silly it is and use it as a bonding moment.
Visuals help
Phone sex is an auditory medium, but it can be visual too! You’re not calling a phone sex number, you’re speaking with someone you know well. Shoot nudes through text or try using video chat to spice things up. Adding visuals will also take the pressure off of you to both to paint the picture yourselves. Using nudes or video allows you the chance to comment on the way your partner looks, the room around them, the sheets. Anything can be sexual fodder if it turns you on.
These tips should give you a headstart in great phone sex with your long-distance partner. If there’s one takeaway, it’s that communication is key. Make sure you’re talking things through and using every curveball as an opportunity to connect even more.