Phone Sex: What You Shouldn’t Say

When people are having phone sex for the first time or calling an erotic phone sex number, their first question is usually: What am I going to say? That’s a fair question and the unknown is a reason why so many people have anxiety during their first phone sex call. They are nervous that there will be awkwardness and aren’t comfortable with spontaneity. To that I say, just let it flow! Phone sex, like sex, is about acting on impulse and living in the moment. It’s about getting outside of your head and being present. Instead of focusing on what you should say, you’re better off focusing on what you should avoid saying. The list of things you shouldn’t say is much shorter as there are all types of wonderful phone sex conversations to be had and far too many “shoulds!” Keep reading to find out what not to say on a phone sex call.

Anything Non-Consensual

Phone sex requires consent. If you are having phone sex for the first time with a partner, it’s a good idea to outline what topics are on and off the table. The easiest way to do this in a non-awkward way is to simply ask! “Is there anything you don’t want me to talk about during this conversation?” It’s that easy. If you accidentally cross a boundary, simply apologize and do not do it again. If you sense that your phone sex partner is not enjoying their time, stop the phone sex. Additionally, it’s never ok to call someone for unsolicited phone sex. That is not consensual.

Anything You Are Uncomfortable With

Again, phone sex is consensual. If you feel yourself being forced to say something that makes you uncomfortable, you a have every right to leave the call by hanging up. Only say things that make you feel good and never feel like you have to cater to anyone who is putting you in a position you don’t want to be in.

Anything Dismissive

Phone sex is scary for everyone! Nobody wants to be shut down or rejected sexually in a situation with two consenting adults. If your partner says something awkward or something you think is strange, don’t get on their case about it. Don’t make them feel bad or embarrassed while trying to be sexual with you. Instead, try shifting gears by bringing up an old sexual memory or asking a question that leads the conversation in a new direction! That way, you can guide your partner to a more fun place without making them feel badly about themselves.

“Bye” Too Fast!

Don’t hang up right after phone sex! Think about sex with someone. Afterward, it’s sweet to sit there and have a little bit of cuddle time and pillow talk. The same goes for phone sex! You want to implement some level of aftercare. You can ask if your partner had a good time or if there is anything they’d want to do differently the next time around.