Whether you’ve got a friend-with-benefits, or you’re in a full-on relationship, phone sex can be an awkwardly exciting way to spice up the relationship. Usually, both partners are stumbling along trying to figure out what works for them as a pair. While this can be fun with someone you’re comfortable with, it can also be tricky and cringe. There are a lot of things that are left up to interpretation. When do you end the call? What do you say when things get awkward? How do you know if you’re doing it right? I am going to help you sort all of that out so that phone sex remains as fun and great as humanly possible for everyone involved!
How to start phone sex:
People are usually really nervous about how to start phone sex. The easiest way to go about this is by being as open and transparent as possible. Make sure that your partner is enthusiastically on board with the idea when you bring up phone sex. It can sound something like, “I am interested in trying phone sex. Is that something you’d be open to?” Phone sex is becoming more and more common, so there’s a very good chance your partner will say that they’ve at least thought about it before. If you feel shy about doing this over the phone, you can always text or send a DM. This way, you put it out there and make it clear what you want, plus you give your partner a chance to really think it through.
Keeping Momentum:
Once you start, you’re going to want to keep it going at a nice pace. Staying present can be hard, especially if you are nervous or someone who overthinks often. Phone sex is a very vulnerable activity, so it’s normal to be in either of these camps. The easiest way to stay on track is to think about what turns you on. It’s really that simple. Consider this: people are turned on by lots of things. You almost never run out of things to be turned on by! So verbalize and articulate those turn-ons. What do you like about your partner’s body, what are your fantasies, what do you wish they could do to you if they were in the same room as you? Visualize it so that you can paint a picture to your partner.
Stay Engaged:
This isn’t a monologue! You need to ask your partner what turns them on as well. Asking questions will also help keep a nice pace going and help to avoid any silent or awkward moments. Ask what they are into and what they fantasize about when they masturbate. Play off of their fantasies and think of it like you two are building a world together. Phone sex is a collaborative project that you are both equally involved in!
How To End The Convo:
Rather than just hanging up or saying, “Ok bye!” it’s good to have a little chat afterward. Think of it like pillow-talk or aftercare. If you feel really connected to your partner, you can discuss what you liked about the phone sex, and what can be changed for next time. Ask them how they felt about it too!